Fork in the Road Diaries
by MyBrownHairedGirl
Summary: "Life was starting. Well, starting over. For me." Bella's tired of being overlooked; it's her turn to be noticed. When she has the chance to reinvent herself in Forks, WA, she takes it. AH ExB


**So this is my new fic. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; no copyright infringement is intended by the author.**

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**The Metamorphosis Diaries – Chapter 1 **

**September Begins with Confidence**

_September 2__nd__ 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_First off, why the hell are you called a diary? Whenever I write in you, I feel like some thirteen year old girl with a bad case of acne and a crush on her math teacher. When I remember where I put my new school supplies, I'm going to find the black sharpie and rename you 'journal'. The whole point of me buying this in the first place was to write down my new life so let's get to it._

_I start junior year on September 9__th__, 2012. I just moved here (boring ass Forks, WA) less than a week ago. I haven't seen the sun since I've arrived and frankly, I feel like I've landed on a damn alien planet! Did you know that an entire tree can be green with no sign of the brown bark underneath it? I didn't know that either. (That was a joke by the way; I know that the reason for the green tree was moss)._

_I haven't ventured out of my house that much, only to go to the grocery store to pick up some food and personal items. Charlie (Dad) can't cook to save his life so that responsibility will fall on me. I don't mind though, the same thing happened with my mom in Phoenix. Phil and I got tired of her science experiments so I took over the kitchen._

_My future classmates are nowhere to be seen and there aren't any teen places around here so I wonder where they could be. I wonder if they'll be nice or vapid, kind or cruel. Is small town gossip really as bad as they say? My mom said it was. It was one of the reasons she left Forks in the first place. (Fact- My mother divorced my father and moved me out of Forks when I was three. She never looked back.) I only had a few friends back at my old school, which now that I think about it, was bigger than the whole town of Forks. Damn. _

_I have a plan for my life at Forks High. I'm going to reinvent myself into the girl I've dreamed about for years. I'm going to break out of my shell, and the kids at Forks High will be the first to see it. All my life, I've been the good girl, the one who did extra credit projects instead of go out because she didn't have many friends to spend time with. The one who did all the work on a joint project because she had no life. The one who was ignored by her peers because she was a Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes. Well, she can say goodbye because I won't stand for it anymore._

_I, Bella Marie Swan, am going to become more confident._

_Now, this might not sound as awesome as I think it does, but this is big for me! I will no longer be the pushover I was before once my metamorphosis is complete. I'm going to be self-assured, like a woman who has it down. I may not have any good examples to choose from personally (I live with a 35 year old man whose idea of fun is fishing and watching sports and I just departed with a woman who didn't have all her playing cards in a deck), but that's where the internet comes in! To the two guys who created Google, I thank you. _

_I'm going to have to learn all this in seven days! (Internal squeal) Though I would never admit it out loud, aside from writing it down in this diary/journal, I'm excited for my new personality. Years of being labeled as boring and safe have left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, a taste I'm going to rinse out with this new mouth wash called "KICK ASS BELLA!" Because that's what I'm going to do. Kick ass with my newfound abilities. _

_This diary/journal will be the recorder of my experiences. I expect a few mishaps, but overall, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about this! _

_Sincerely, Bella ( Soon to be more confident )_

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BPOV

Life was starting. Well, starting over. For me.

My old school clothes consisted of plain straight-legged pants and cotton shirts. The colors were bright and didn't really match with _anything_. My mother had tried to take me shopping to change that, but I had refused every time. I hadn't seen any problem with wearing bright orange with vomit green.

_Sigh. All those embarrassing photos and time wasted. _

For my new wardrobe, I had mainly gotten skinny jeans that ranged from dark blue to black.

The shirts I had picked out were still cotton since I couldn't handle all the scratchy fabrics, but now they had witty sayings and graceful patterns on them. I had developed a fondness for floral print, so a lot of the shirts had that design on them.

I also purchased three skirts that were all billowy but stopped at the knee. I didn't know when I would be able to wear them and not freeze my ass off, so I also bought a pair of black leggings to go along with them.

While looking on this one fashion site, it had mentioned that scarves were in fashion so I picked up one white scarf that was designed with black swirls. To me it just looked like an oversized wrap of fabric, but since this was the Pacific Northwest it could come in handy. The same website that recommended the scarf also said a nice over coat with some cute shoes could finish any outfit.

I was running low on shopping money so I just nabbed an inexpensive long gray over coat with black buttons. I already had a light brown overcoat, so this would be for the days I would be fashionable. I couldn't bear to part with my black Chucks and multiple pairs of Vans, so I decided to just get two new pairs of shoes. One pair would be for mobility and comfort while the other would be reserved for Kick Ass Bella.

I ended up getting a pair of black flats that had a flower on the side of the toe and cute, tan Ugg boots that reached the back of my calf. Had I tried to get heels, then the students of Forks High would've had to watch out for my clumsy ass. I had to get a new satchel because the other ripped, which was leather brown.

The first part of my plan had been executed.

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_September 6, 2012_

_Dear Journal, _

_After three days of straight shopping at the Forks Thriftway and the mall in Port Angeles (another boring ass town) I have finished the first and easiest phase of my plan, the material part. Now I must complete the second phase, which is the hardest part. The actually changing of my personality._

_I've already decided that while I want to become a more confident girl, I want to keep a certain part of myself so I won't forget who I am. I've watched plenty of movies (Mean Girls for example) to know that forgetting who you truly are is never a good idea._

_That's why it's hard. I mean, how am I supposed to become Kick Ass Bella with fragments of Goody Two Shoes- No Style Bella inside me? If I didn't know what it felt like to be ignored and underestimated then I would be rethinking this plan._

_But, I do know what that feels like and I can't go back to that…not with the opportunity I've been given. _

_So, as the first step to the second phase of my BMC (Become More Confident) plan, WikiHow recommended:_

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BPOV

"Step one; recognize your talents and good qualities," I said aloud. I thought about it for a moment. What were my talents and good qualities?

"Hmm, let's say good grammar, I can cook…and I have excellent grades," I jotted down more good things about myself in my diary/journal. Which reminds me, I should just name is instead of defacing its cover. _Genius over here man, I swear. _As I looked over what I had written down, I realized I sounded utterly and completely boring and generic on paper.

"Wow, the exercise that was meant to make me feel better about myself has already succeeded in making me feel even duller, and we're not even to the second step!" I muttered under my breath, frustrated.

I leaned forward on my desk, slipping my pencil behind my ear. _God I sound pathetic right now. How could I not have realized I let myself get this way? Did I really not see I was THIS boring all these years? My God! Okay, calm down. Deep breaths. I knew this part of the plan wouldn't be easy, that's why I'm doing it in the first place. Now I just have to get past the fact I'm as interesting as drying paint and we can continue the program._

"Okay moving on. Step two; everyone struggles with confidence," The next thirty minutes passed by with me reading the WikiHow page and scribbling down whatever I thought was important.

For step two of phase two, I shut my lap top down and walked over to my full length mirror beside my door. Standing in front of it barefoot, I assessed my blue sweat pants and yellow shirt. I practiced smiling and various facial expressions before I went into the bathroom to grab my makeup bag.

I was an au natural kind of girl, but some experimentation with makeup wouldn't hurt. I applied some light gray eyeshadow and lip gloss and looked at my reflection. The eyeshadow looked good against my pale skin and the gloss seemed to highlight the pink color of my lips. I didn't think I looked so bad. After I wiped away some of the out of place eye makeup, I realized I looked cute.

I still looked like me, but with the makeup on I looked like an enhanced version of myself! I decided right then and there that this was how I would do my makeup daily. I didn't think I would delve into blush or heavy foundation –I blushed every 2.5 seconds so what's the point? – because I wasn't sure how to apply them without looking like a runaway clown.

Jokingly, I pouted my lips into a duck face pose. _Yeah, no, I look like I need an escort to the nearest loony bin._

For the first time in my life, my face held the features of self-confidence. The only thing that betrayed my true feelings were the wisps of doubt and insecurity lingering in my eyes. _Remember, fake it until you make it Bella._

I turned to face my laptop to capture my first picture with my new look. It would be good to have a visual of what I would look like if I completed my whole plan, in case I got cold feet and chickened out. I powered it up and positioned the cam to face me. My cheeks stretched wide, the gloss on my lips shimmering as I gave my best smile. I tried to dispel the insecurity from my mind as I posed for my picture.

_There_, I thought. _Proof of what I could be if I persevered through my less than encouraging emotions._

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_So today was the second phase of my plan. With me starting Forks High in two days, I'm feeling the pressure of my new goal. It should be interesting to see how the kids at school react to me. I can only imagine what Charlie's been telling the whole town about me. Imagine their surprise when I roll up in my beat up Chevy looking nothing like the girl they pictured in their minds. _

_I've been trying for the past few days to erase the old Bella from my appearance and so far, she hasn't made any appearances. My changes are setting into my skin, allowing me to get comfortable with them. When I asked my dad how big the school was he told me about three hundred sixty students attended. When I asked how many total, thinking that was just the junior class, he replied amusedly, "That is the total, this isn't like your old school In Phoenix, Bells."_

_Wow is all I can say about that. _

_Sincerely, Bella_

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BPOV

Today was the day.

I was decked out in my Ugg boots, dark blue skinny jeans and white shirt that had colorful flowers on it. I chose my gray jacket to wear with my outfit, along with my white scarf. My makeup was simple, just some lip gloss and mascara. I may or may not have poked myself with the wand in the mirror.

My hair fell down my back in little waves caused by the braids I had it in the night before.

I glanced one last time at my reflection in the mirror before I headed downstairs. Charlie was already gone so I just made some toast for myself.

I took deep, shuddering breaths to sooth my nerves. The past few days had been filled with good anxiety, now I felt a ball of dread settle deep in my tummy.

As I drove to Forks High, I tried to use some of my calming tactics to reassure myself. I hummed a few catchy 80s tunes during the short drive.

The roar of my engine alerted surrounding students to my arrival. I took one last look in my rear view mirror before I killed engine and got out of Big Red. (That's my car's name by the way. It's named after its red color and 1950s Chevy physique).

Instantly, the eyes of all the students in the parking lot were on me. I heard a low whistle to my left, causing me to turn my head to the source. A pack of jocks in their letterman's jackets were eyeing me in a way that made me feel…conflicted.

On one hand, I felt uncomfortable by their stares, but on the other they made me feel sexy. This was how it looked and felt to be desired. Fighting the urge to lower my eyes, I gave them a tiny smile before I made my way into the school.

I glanced around me at the sea of faces, some just simply looking, others appraising me with their eyes. I felt my smile widen. The amount of attention I was getting from these people was exhilarating.

So this was what it was like to be noticed.

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**Anyone want to be my beta? I feel ready to get back into the writing game. Tell me what you think about this chapter please. All it takes is typing up a few words and 30 seconds of your time!**


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